Challenge completed!

The race is run and I have exceeded my £500 fundraising target for Sense! Thank you so much everybody!
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Mary-King4

The Royal Parks Half is predictably an absolutely beautiful course and we had a lovely sunny morning for it...ideal running conditions. I was NOT in ideal running condition due to my mild tendonitis, so my race "strategy" was a bit confused as I wavered between the attitude of "I'm just going to run through the pain and not care about the state of my tendon" versus "I will be sensible and walk the whole thing slowly to avoid further injury". I was determined that I WOULD complete the course and I'm proud to say that I succeeded in that.

Gearing up pre-run with Vic as part of Team Sense. Mario and Carolina came to support us.


After a unnecessarily long wait for the loos pre-run (I totally do not believe that "more queues = less time queuing" as the organisers claimed: one queue for multiple toilets, much better) I started off running with a friend who was aiming for a 2 hour 17 minute half-marathon (and who beat her target!) at a steady pace. I quickly realised I should drop back as I could feel twinges in my tendon and didn't want to unconsciously push myself too hard too soon by wanting to keep up with her, so I left her at Buckingham Palace and deliberately slowed myself down, letting hundreds of people pass me (and resisting telling runners and onlookers "it's not that I'm unfit...I've just got an injury! honest!"

I struggled with that need to justify myself throughout the 2 hours 47 minutes I took to complete the run, but kept telling myself that it wasn't a race. Well, actually it WAS a race but it wasn't a race where I (or anyone else) needed to compete on speed...and going fast is not what gives the activity its worth...and...things like that. I did slow jogging and first felt the need to slow to a walk as we went round the Aldwych. Both my hips, by this point, were pretty sore, and as I walked back up the Strand, the Mall and into Green Park I reflected that probably any physiotherapist would advise me to give up at this point. I cogitated on this option. I could just quit. Nothing bad would happen. Everyone would understand.

But the great run atmosphere, the huge range of people running for different charities and in memory of people who'd died or to celebrate people who hadn't died, the people there to cheer everybody on, the clearly massively unfit people who were nevertheless getting on with it and determined to finish...all of these convinced me that I should keep going.

I also thought about labour - I suppose this was an inevitable comparison for me to make as this was my maternity leave challenge, after all. I had a very long and slow labour which stretched from Friday night to Sunday night (Angel was born at 23:13 so it was very much a full weekend). I pretty much blame the stress of transferring to hospital on Sunday morning with slowing things down by about 12 hours...but mind you it had already been a pretty long labour (30 hours or so) before we even thought of going into hospital. I didn't give up then, did I? I asked myself as I power-walked towards Hyde Park. So I'm not going to give up now. (I also wondered what "giving up" in labour would actually constitute - it's pretty much a one-way process obviously).

So I determined to finish the race for Angel. My husband and a friend were there cheering me on at multiple points along the course, which also helped. I alternated slow jogging with fast walking and finished in under 3 hours, which was a big achievement in context. Additionally, writing this 4 days on, I do not seem to have worsened my tendonitis significantly which is good news!

The other important thing that I did on the half marathon was reflect on my life and on the biggest development we're going through at the moment, which is me gearing up to returning to work and settling Angel into her nursery. She's been settling in for an extended period, but this and last week have been the first times I've left her at nursery for almost full days - 9.30-4 as opposed to the full 8.30-5.30 - while I've been doing KIT days at work to prepare for starting teaching after half term. I've been absolutely wracked with guilt about it, constantly berating myself, feeling sick to the stomach and unable to relax or enjoy ANYTHING while apart from her. Thinking about this on the run (no guilt when I know she's with her daddy) I decided I need to assert some positive attitude around this. I have made the decisions I have about work and childcare and now I need to make the best of them. I like and trust the staff at nursery, and I need to accept that she is fine there and do what I can to enjoy the novelty of my baby-free time. I know I have a lot of power over my emotions and I am perfectly capable of thinking positively and being strong rather than wallowing in self-pity!

I've felt much better this week.

Now for lots and lots of gluteus strengthening exercises and no running for a few months and then hopefully I can get back to running properly. I'd quite like to do the same run again next year but I guess I need to wait and see how things go...

Post-run!!

2 day countdown

In 48 hours time I will be about to start the half marathon!!!

This is a bit of a sad feeling, because although I am still determined to start and finish the race, I will not be able to run it "well", and I will certainly not beat my personal best from the one other half marathon I have run (the Bristol half marathon in 2011) when I finished in just over 2 hours, tying with my dad and beating both my brothers by minutes. (Now THAT was a proud moment). Instead, due to a really low-key, non-dramatic, tendon problem I have been unable to train and anything more than a REALLY slow jog starts to hurt, so I anticipate doing the race at a walk-speed jogging pace, taking more than 3 hours I reckon. Because I know you really shouldn't keep running through the pain, even though it's really minor pain.

I have two friends running with me so I guess I'll aim to start with them and keep up with them for as long as it doesn't feel too detrimental to my gluteal tendon, and then drop back. This was certainly not the running strategy I envisioned when I set the challenge with Vic back in May! It was supposed to be a really triumphal, end of maternity leave, look how super fit I am despite having a baby 10 months ago moment.

If I think hard enough, I feel like there's a lesson in here somewhere...there's definitely something about hubris, possibly something about not overdoing it so soon after pregnancy (although actually I had this tendon problem in 2014, well before getting pregnant! so I'm not convinced it's related. It's probably due to my posture or gait in some really boring way), and if I want to look on the bright side, something about perseverance and how it's important to complete the challenge even in the face of obstacles. Well, I will do my best.

Modelling my half-marathon outfit on Monday! I walk/jogged all the way to the Blackbird Bakery where I ate a bakewell tart...oops.

Over the last month, while I haven't done any running, I have continued with my regime of lots of walking with an 8.6 kilo baby on my back/front, and lots of cycling of the super heavy Bakfiets bike laden down with said baby. The Bakfiets is super for transporting Angel to and from nursery, which I have now started doing as she's settling in. It's not so super for cycling up hills, but as we live at the bottom of a hill (Telegraph Hill) and there is quite a lot of desirable/essential stuff at the top of the hill (Telegraph Hill play club; the Hill Station cafe; my place of work; Hilly Fields park; the Horniman museum (up multiple additional hills)) I seem to end up doing so quite a lot. So I think I've maintained a certain level of fitness. I'm not anticipating a heart attack, at least.

Settling Angel into nursery has been a real emotional rollercoaster. Actually, a rollercoaster goes up AND down whereas this has been fairly consistently a negative feeling so more of an emotional skydive. However, I really love our nursery - the staff, the manager, the room, the toys, the garden, the location - and I do honestly think Angel is happy there. It's just hard to judge because as soon as I enter with her, or arrive to take her away, her response is to burst into massive, angry, confused, heartbroken sobs in anticipation/memory of our separation. They tell me she's doing fine when I'm not there. I suppose the ability to be ok with both mummy AND nursery at the same time is something she'll grow into (hopefully).